As your wedding gets closer, it starts feeling very real, very quickly. RSVP’s begin to pour in, your vendor team begins scheduling final meetings, and you are just a few months from the big day (no pressure!)!
After all of the time, energy, and money you’ve invested into this day, these are a few things I recommend that my couples establish with family members that will be present throughout the day or included in family portraits. When everyone is on the same page and has all of the information they need, it makes for an easy, stress-free wedding day.
Let’s get into it!
PREPPING FOR FAMILY PHOTOS
Explaining how wedding photography works
It is likely that when your parents got married, their wedding planning looked something like this: book a venue that already had catering included, choose from these three premade floral and cake options, and this is the photographer that comes with the venue. They would basically show up on their wedding day and hope all of their vendors made it. The photography process was fairly simple and straightforward- take some photos after the ceremony of the wedding party (likely in a church), some family photos, a few of the couple, then off to the reception. It was a different time and many people, especially if they haven’t been to weddings in a while, don’t understand how much photography has changed. Let your family know that the photographers will be there throughout the day — there to capture getting ready photos, a first look, the classic portraits they know well, as well as the candid shots at cocktail hour. Help them to understand that they don’t need to be “camera aware” throughout the day, that they can relax and take in the day without worrying about the camera. This will help them to look their best, as their natural selves.
Photo requests
The Family Photo portion of the day is often very important to parents and other family members and we’ve definitely heard a few parents make comments over the years that they wanted certain groupings that weren’t in the original list. By asking and involving your family in this ahead of time, you’re helping to avoid any potential conflict over photos and keep the timeline moving. Remind your family that there isn’t infinite time for photos and that several requests may require additional photo coverage and/or less time at cocktail hour to get all of them done- remember that YOU have the final say in your photo shot list, but it is a kind gesture to chat with parents to see if you are missing anyone important or if they have any small requests for photos.
Cocktail hour photos
Cocktail hour is traditionally when most of your family formals will be taken. Guests are excited to congratulate you, but also excited to grab a drink at the bar. It’s important that everyone involved in family portraits knows not to go to cocktail hour right after the ceremony so they can be included in family photos. Let your family know ahead of time that they are in photos and the quicker the photos take, the sooner they can join cocktail hour. When one person decides to “quickly” get one drink and come back, it causes a domino effect- they are late for their photos, the photographer needs to either wait for them or move on and circle back, then other guests see someone with a drink and also want one, causing more people to flock to the bar and miss photos. You can chat with your caterer about bringing over drinks for you and your guests post-ceremony to try to mitigate that issue, but also making the plan and expectations very clear to your family will be helpful to make family photos a quick and easy process.
Creating a shot list ahead of your wedding is essential for getting through the family photo portion of the day. Your photographer should lead you through this process, but each photographer has their own approach and this information can help you get a jump start on organizing the details.
HOW TO CREATE YOUR FAMILY PHOTO LIST
The first step is to decide who will be included in your family photos. Typically, there are two main groups of people — immediate family (parents, siblings) and extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents). Some couples choose to do photos with each side of their extended families, others are fine with just their immediate family photos. Think about your own family relationships to decide which photos you want with extended family members. Usually we do most of the family photos post- ceremony, but some couples opt to break up the photos and take photos with immediate family members pre-ceremony and extended family post-ceremony. Timing is dependent on a few factors: whether or not you are having a first look, the time you are able to enter the venue, if there is enough time between getting to the venue and the rest of the guests arriving, and how large/how many groupings you have.
Sample family shot list
Below is the sample family shot list that is a good start to your own shot list- your photographer will also have some samples for you to review. We use this as a starting point and then customize to fit their particular family and any dynamics. For most families, we plan for less than 30 minutes of time in the overall photography timeline- the more prepared your families are, the quicker this process will be.
As you read through the examples, we know that every family situation is different- this is just a generic list- feel free to adjust it!
Here is an example:
We start with the immediate family of Partner A:
- Couple with Partner A’s Family (Parents, Siblings, Grandparents, Cousins, Aunts/Uncles)
- Couple with Partner A’s Family (Parents, Siblings, Grandparents)- pro tip: let the grandparents go pretty quickly so they can get a seat at cocktail hour!
- Couple with Partner A’s Parents and Siblings
- Partner A with their Parents (together and separate)
- A photo of the couple with each set of parents and/or siblings:
- Couple with both sets of Parents
- Couple with both sets of Siblings
And then we continue with the immediate family of Partner B:
- Couple with Partner B’s Family (Parents, Siblings, Grandparents, Cousins, Aunts/Uncles)
- Couple with Partner B’s Family (Parents, Siblings, Grandparents)- pro tip: let the grandparents go pretty quickly so they can get a seat at cocktail hour!
- Couple with Partner B’s Parents and Siblings
- Partner B with their Parents (together and separate)
- A photo of the couple with each set of parents and/or siblings:
- Couple with both sets of Parents
- Couple with both sets of Siblings
Family dynamics
Once we know who will be in your family photos and which of the above photos are applicable to your family, we can create the official list. It is best to add in the names of everyone involved in the photos (Grandma Harriet instead of just ‘grandma’) to help streamline the process on your wedding day and make it so much quicker!
If you have step-parents or other family dynamics (like family members who shouldn’t be in the same photos), you should also take this into consideration when I’m choosing the order of the photos. Make your planner and photographer aware of any family dynamics that could come up during the family photo time so everyone is comfortable.
The best advice I can give you with family photos would be:
- Make a list (with names) of everyone you’d like to have photos with- also check in with parents so there are no surprise additions on the wedding day.
- Let family members know in advance that you will be taking photos either before or after the ceremony, give them an exact location, and let them know that there is not time to go find them if they wander off to cocktail hour- we need to stick to a schedule so YOU TWO can enjoy cocktail hour, too!
- Put family, family friends, or wedding party members in charge of herding family members. It is likely that your planner or photographer will not know every person on your shot list, so it is a better bet that someone you are close to will be able to help.
When everyone arrives on time and ready for photos, this list allows the team to capture each photo quickly and efficiently — your VIP guests will love the organization and everyone will be surprised at how easy (and quick) it was!
For more wedding planning tips, check out this recent blog post about the guest experience!
Photos by Mary Sarah Photography
